The 10 Man-dments

  1. Nothing good happens after midnight. Act that way.
  2. The ladies, despite what may have been crammed down your throat, are the fairer sex.  You treat them differently but equally, if not with more admiration and appreciation than men.
  3. If you drink and drive, one of two things will happen.  You will hurt or kill someone and your life will be miserable.  Or you will get caught, and then you will either never do it again because of the consequences, or you will do it again and again or your life is screwed.   Make your choice now.
  4. If a lady is in your presence, she is, by design, providing you the opportunity to deliver a helpful smile, or should she need, hold a door, or offer an assist with a lift or a reach, or a causal mention as to how she looks pretty, or her eyes caught your attention and brightened her day, or one of the millions of reasons any man can find to compliment a woman, for fuck sake take it.  It doesn’t matter if she is old, young, fat, skinny, ugly or pretty: lighten a girl’s load.
    1. Caveat: Reserve the flirtatious compliments to your girlfriend, or if you’re this far along, they all belong to your wife. This does not absolve you from holding doors and providing a smile.
  5. Marriage means babies.  Sex means babies.  If you’re wondering whether or not you could commit to a woman for life, but you might want to fool around a bit, consider this : kids are not just an 18 year commitment, they’re a lifetime of love.  And if you are considering whether or not you can “commit” and whether or not your next move is a ‘mistake’; there are no mistakes.  But there are lifetime bindings to the mother of your children whether or not you like them (or you children!)
  6. If you see a lady stranded on the side of the road, pull over, park in front of her vehicle, approach slowly and offer your assistance from a reasonable distance.  If another man is offering assistance already, pull over faster and sidle up to the gentleman and ensure all is well.  Bad things happen on the side of the road, especially at night and in remote areas.
  7. If you can’t find a job, then your job is looking for a job from 6am until 10pm at least.  And while a small portion of that is sitting on your ass filling out online applications and submitting resumes in email, the vast majority of that time needs to be spent visiting any and every place that will pay you enough money to find the next job.   That is, and pay attention, as an example, if you are used to or expect to get paid $20 / hour, you take a job at $10 until you find the $20.  You work the full day, and spend the other 4-8 hours finding the next (there are actually 24 hours in a day).  That ratio is pretty consistent: if you are accustomed to $50K a year and you can get a job paying $25K per year, you get it.  If there are “no jobs in your area” .. MOVE! If your wife is against that, and she may be for many reasons, discuss it, and find some middle ground.  Some people travel to the Middle East for months at a time to feed their families- you can ride a bus to the next city or the next state for that matter.
  8. If you get married, and more so if you have children, you are the provider.  It is your responsibility to provide all of the income.   It is reasonable to enter a marriage with both contributing specifically if you want to accelerate a family and it is agreed to.  And there will be periods when you may need the assist and may need to lean on you rwife. But your first goal as a husband (and thusly a man) it to achieve an income that allows your wife to choose whether she works, plays or a little of both.  Because what you don’t understand is that you, sir, as a man have no clue what your wife is going give of herself in order to you a family- the unique nurturing and the intense investment it will take on her part to make that happen will require more of you then appears- the derivative though is absolute bliss and long term happiness.  As much time as you can before children come along, and for as long as you can afterwards, until death do you part, make her world beautiful and as free of the worldly nonsense as you can.
  9. Billed as the 7 year itch, it is indeed no such thing, but rather, on average, about 7 years into a marriage, your wife has been staying home with your children for several years, up to 7 for some, it has a major impact on the psyche.   If you find your wife arguing, and angry often and just wants to get away—and this is the most important — your wife is still in there.  And though you may have discover yourself in a spot where you are dismayed, feel unwanted and unappreciated and hurting, I’ll bet you she is hurting more; and boy is she really hurting.   Remember anger comes from one place – fear.  Fear comes from many, many places, and especially as you get older, as you learn more about the world around you, if you aren’t afraid, you aren’t paying attention (and good for those who can do that).  But for your wife, who is often isolated from daily adult conversation once nurturing your family, is rightfully fearful as are you (and if you aren’t then stop reading now and put your straight jacket on, because you are done). The source of her fear, for immediate concern, is immaterial, though if you can achieve insight and learn together, that will be an acceleration to the “other side”.  Perhaps she’s learning, like you, that what she thought she was isn’t quite right or what she wanted to be won’t happen. You are given the most amazing position as a man and the most important.  At this inflection point in hers and your lives,  is the time more than ever to stay strong, to be a  man, and to be a strong husband and father.   And as difficult and for as long as that period may last, and that period includes you helping her and you and the two of you in any way you can, and at the same time providing, and it could last years or a decade or more. I’ll guarantee you, on the “other side”, it’s absolutely fucking amazing.
  10. If it does not defy physics it can be done.  If another “male” suggests it cannot be done, it is your duty to demonstrate that it can be done by doing it, then handing him his skirt and gently asking him to step aside, because apparently, whatever he thought you couldn’t do requires a real man.
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